SOME DAYS ARE A TOTAL KICK IN THE PANTS - LIKE YESTERDAY FOR INSTANCE

The thing about having a lot of wonderful, peaceful days in a row is that inevitably, something or somebody will come along and screw it all up. (Big sigh.) As was the case yesterday. Colby and I were just chugging along, doing our thing. He's back in school, the first full week since Christmas break. We took him swimming on Tuesday. I'm slowly, very slowly, but surely getting a few things done around here. Thank goodness Colby's nurse knows something about fish tanks. I at least unpacked the darn thing last week, and she was nice enough to set it up, put in the conditioning drops, etc. Just moved Colby's fish from the old Spongebob tank to his new, beautiful 10-gallon mansion. We'll see how it goes. Hope we don't have a floater by the end of the day. Christmas decorations are all finally packed away, and my usual mountain of mail is down to a smallish, manageable pile.

Then whammy, yesterday happened. Went to work, just like any other Wednesday, and my damn computer was down. I could run reports and that's it. Couldn't adjust my inventory, pack any medications, nothing. I waited around for 2 hours for them to fix it. It wasn't fixed so I went home. Total waste of time. Then I get one of those calls I dread so very much. From Apria of course, who else causes me such grief and annoyance? The old I'm so sorry, but we will be unable to ship Colby's Neocate Jr. because we're being told by insurance that Colby's formula is no longer a covered benefit speech. Superdee-duperdee. I had wine for supper last night, just seemed like the thing to do/have. Don't judge me. And so it begins, again. Phone call to Cigna to find out exactly WTH is going on. Phone call to Apria to tell them what Cigna told me. Apria now needs to bill Colby's secondary insurance. Will do follow up phone call tomorrow. I'm almost positive this will require more wine. Oh, and little Mr. Jabberpants has been up since before 6AM today. For a child who is "weak" and "tires easily" and has "severe respiratory issues" Colby sure doesn't need extra sleep! But dang, his mama does! I need a nap.  

Also, the time has come for me to get my head out of my butt and face the fact that Colby's VEPTR surgery is indeed going to happen. It's scheduled for June 11. Actually it's been scheduled since November, I just haven't wanted to talk about it and/or deal with it in any way. Thinking about pre-op appointments, the surgery itself, the recovery time, Colby being in pain/discomfort etc makes me ill. Literally makes my stomach turn and then the waterworks begin any time I think of it. I would give anything I have now or will ever have in the future to not put my son through this. I'm usually not a whiner. I've dealt with the reality of SMA for a long time, and I think I've dealt with it overall very well. But dammit, I hate this surgery for him. I HATE IT! I'll admit it, I'm terrified. There, I said it. Luckily there are many other local SMA kiddos who have had this same surgery by the same surgeon. I'll be able to better prepare us based on their experiences, advice, etc. I'm going to call Cincy Ortho Department in the next couple of days and start getting pre-op appointments scheduled. More wine, please! Much, much more wine.

Time to get in another load of laundry and work out before Colby gets home from school. Yes, working out. I'm trying to get back into shape. Not having too much luck, but I am trying. Or maybe I'll have wine for lunch, then I won't care about working out, or phone calls, or surgeries, or anything else really. Very tempting...