HOPING THIS WEEKEND GOES WELL - HOMEWORK IS INVOLVED SO WE'LL SEE

I was talking to my friend today, saying I need to blog about something different besides phone calls, supplies deliveries, insurance, appointments, equipment problems, etc. I said everyone by now is probably convinced I'm a rambling, stressed, at-the-end-of-my-rope lunatic. She said, well, it's your life. That's what you know, that's what you do. She has a point haha!

But I also have perspective. I know the reason I deal with all these crazy issues, and that sweet boy is worth every minute of whatever I have to do to keep him healthy and provide for him. If I wasn't dealing with all this craziness, that would mean I wouldn't have Colby. And that's a thought I simply can't comprehend. Actually, I need to take a lesson from Colby. Think about all he goes through on a daily basis. He is so patient, so tolerant, so incredibly amazing. He doesn't whine, he doesn’t cry - he just goes with the flow. Trach changes, port flushes, trying new things on his eye gaze, new nurses, whatever comes his way, he's a champ. Yep, there's a lesson there for me for sure. Suck it up, deal with it, and move on. So I'll try to do better. Focus on the good, the positive, the reason I do the things I do. So very worth it!

Yesterday Colby went to school and I went to work. Some days he tries at school, some days he doesn't give 2 shakes. Yesterday was a 2 shakes day for him. They read a story, he wouldn't answer the questions regarding it. Colby's teacher wrote he was "nonresponsive  today with his device," meaning his eye gaze. Way to go, Colby. I've made it a rule that every day, whether at school or home, he has to use eye gaze and say the letters in his name. Now we'll be working on this worksheet he didn't do in class. How long do you think this will take? I predict around 1 hour to say the letters, and another 30 minutes for the worksheet, along with many tears and frustration on both our sides. Wow, I may be hitting the Strongbow for lunch.

Had supper with my girlie friends on Thursday. Always fun. Luckily these chicks have known me for years. They know I have a tendency to get hot very easy. Hot weather, spicy foods, etc I'll be the first one sweating. Plus I'm convinced I'm allergic to some spice, cayenne maybe. The food I ordered didn't taste that spicy, but oh yeah, the sweat beads were rolling. So embarrassing. Then my cheeks and nose got red. Geez. Good thing I wasn't on a date. Note to self, no Mexican on dates. Got it.

We don’t have much going on this weekend. Homework of course, sigh. My mom is coming over today to help me get the hall closets cleaned out. I have to have someone to keep me focused, or before you know it I'll be looking though old pictures, staring at shiny objects. I have absolutely no focus these days, but no worries. My mom is a cleaning Nazi. We'll have that closet cleaned out, wiped down and reorganized in no time. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl of course. Don't have any big plans for it, but of course I'll be watching. And so will Colby, whether he likes it or not. We may be flushing another fish. Our original goldfish, the one we've had for almost a year, sank to the bottom a couple days ago. I blame Colby's daddy. I told him that fish didn't like roommates.  Now I'm afraid the black bug-eyed fish is doing the same. Let's just say he's acting just like the other one did before the bit the bullet. Doing a lot of hovering. Great, just great. I also blame Colby's dad for this. I mean after all, couldn't possibly be my fault. At this rate, we'll go from 3 fishies to 0 fishies in a week's time.    

Okay, time to get Colby up and going for the day. Up and at 'em, then get that eye gaze going. Wish us luck. I can't stand to see him cry, it breaks my heart. Man, how did I get to be such a meanie-weanie? Just keeping tell myself, he can do this. He's just stubborn. Have expectations for him, he's smart. He's just stubborn. Have a great weekend everyone. Have perspective. It makes what you have to do much easier to do. Trust me on that.