Sunday, February 19, 2012

HERE IS TODAY'S CRAZINESS - ENJOY

I wish I had something fun, whimsical and carefree to talk about, but I really don't. It's kinda been a "for shit" sort of day. Not over the top "for shit" just a tiny bit "for shit". Oh yeah, if you're offended by cuss words, then stay off my blog, just sayin'.

I had problems with dizziness today, really bad dizziness, which I just don't get. I've been taking my thyroid medication. I thought that might be the problem. Plus it's not all the time, just every now and then, like today. IDK what's up with that, but I'm not digging it one little bit. Yeah, yeah, go ahead and say it, Amy, we always knew you were a dizzy broad! You know you were thinking it.

Then there's Colby. Colby, sweet Colby. What in the hell is going on with this kid?! He did not have the best of days today. One day he's a little better, the next day his numbers are out of whack again. Like I've said before, he's not sick enough to take out of school, drive him up to Cincinnati to a germy hospital for observation. They would probably say, well, uh, we don't really know what's wrong with him either. I have a hunch it's just something little. I have some ideas and now it's time to trial and error them one by one and see if anything helps. First is nutrition. In seeing what other SMA kiddos' intake is, it would seem Colby's overall fluid/volume for his feedings is off, way off. Not really sure how this happened since he's followed by 2 nutritionists. So that is something we'll address next week. Also hoping this new bi-pap mask will help. Colby's heart rate used to drop in the 60's when he was sleeping, but not any more. It's more like high 70's, low 80's. If it's not the bi-pap mask, then maybe it's the bi-pap settings. He had a sleep study done back in the fall and they changed his settings. Maybe there's a problem there. I'm also not convinced the cyst on his rib isn't an issue. Think about it. Rib = lung = respiratory. What is Colby's main issue/problem? His respiratory status. I don't know how much experience the ortho dr we took him to on Thursday has with SMA patients. I'm not saying he's a bad doctor, just saying with SMA, so many aspects need to be considered. You constantly have to look at "the big SMA picture" and so many issues affect so many other issues. It's enough to drive you ape shit crazy. Yep, I'd say I'm pretty much there right now.

Okay, let's move on. If I think about this crap any more, my head will explode. So I was watching Pop Up Videos the other day on VH1. Yes, I admit it, I love it when those goofy little bubbles pop up. I can't remember the song, but the bubbles started talking about being single or single women, something like that. It showed a statistic that said the average single woman goes on 4 dates a year. I thought to myself, dang, what a ho bag, haha! I had to make sure I read it correctly, because in my case it should have read 1 date in 4 years, not the other way around. Okay, my social life isn't quite that bad, but I did find that statistic very, let's just say…off, for my circumstances.

Finally watched The Help a couple days ago. Loved it. Been working on my Terrible Awful list, hehe. It seems to grow longer with each passing day. It's hard to believe someone would judge someone else just because their skin is a different color. I just don't get that. I size someone up based on their kindness, integrity, humor, selflessness. I certainly don't want someone looking at me and thinking well, she can't make good decisions because she's a hormonal woman, or she must be dumb because of my heavy country accent. And I REALLY can't believe that such hate and racism so blatantly existed just 50 years ago, not 150 years ago!

I do want to end this blog on a good note. So let me say THANK YOU to everyone who stayed in touch and kept me somewhat sane during my time away from home. My family and friends were so wonderful to me. They called often, sent texts, offered to do whatever they could to help. I have such AMAZING people in my life. If it weren't for you all, I honestly don't know what I'd do. There's no way Colby and I could get through this stinkass SMA journey without you. God has chosen each of you to have a special purpose in my life, and please know that you each hold a special place in my heart, too. You have friends like that, right? Like I have one friend I go to Mass with and who is our travelling buddy. I have one friend I party with a little more than the others, although we haven't seen each other in a month of Sundays. I have one friend I consider "Ole Reliable" because we will be friends until we're old, flabby, have no teeth and are stepping on our boobs. I have another friend, the Pizza King fairy. We lost touch for years but have vowed to never do that again. I consider a couple of Colby's therapists friends. They've been with us for a long time now and they were great to stay in touch during my "solitary confinement". Then there's my Wine Night gals. Sometimes that's the only time we are able to see or talk to each other. My aunt and I are like best pals, we text almost daily. She's so awesomely awesome. I have SMA mommy friends whom I adore. They've been there, done that, and all speak SMA fluently. And hands down I have the best parents on the planet. Lord knows we'd be up Shit Creek without a paddle without them. I have several other friends I think of often. Haven't seen or talked to them in a while. Not on purpose, life just gets in the way sometimes. So listen up gals, I'll be getting in touch soon and we'll do lunch, or brunch, or dinner, or you can just come over and visit. Gots to have my gal pals around or I get really lonely, really quickly. And we can't be having that!

I've rambled on enough for tonight. This sleepy chick is going to bed. Can't wait to see what fun and excitement tomorrow will bring!

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