So there are a couple reasons why I haven't blogged much lately. The #1 reason, sleep. I cannot get enough of it lately. I think about it all the time. I crave it. I want it in the worst of ways. Many times after I get Colby in bed, I just want to do what I have to do around the house, then go to bed. I have been sleeping in on the weekends when I can, which is simply fabulous if you ask me. So why am I so sleepy all the time? Not sure. Maybe it's thyroid related. However, my headaches and dizziness are gone so I'm thinking maybe my level is more accurate. Maybe I've got the winter blahs. Perfectly understandable, it's been a very icky, dreary, non-sunshiny winter around here. But the weather never has bothered me much before. I mean, you know, you can't change it, so why let it get to you. If it's cold, put on a coat, if it's raining, grab an umbrella and move on with it for crap's sake. Also, I don't want to sound like a whiner, so if things aren't coming up roses around here (they seldom are lately) I guess I don't want to tell about it. The old if you can't say something nice, then zip it, theory. Or maybe I have a touch of laziness. Or maybe it's a combination of all the above. Who knows. But I'm blogging today so here it goes.
The truth is, things are not rosy around here. They're not horrible. Colby isn't in the hospital or anything like that (it can always be worse, right?) I've been getting things lined up because I'll be spending 5 days away from Colby after getting my radioactive iodine treatment. Yep, 5 continuous days that I won't see, touch, kiss, talk to, take care of or interact with my sweet boy. That's 120 looooong hours. Again, not trying to whine, but that is going to suck horribly. Do you know how many nights I've spent away from Colby in 9-1/2 years? I think 3 total. I've tried to explain to Colby what's going on and why I have to be gone. He gets very quiet when I talk about it. I've spent a lot of time working on getting extra nursing hours approved, scheduling shifts for nurses, sitters and Colby's dad, etc. The good news is the hours I requested were approved, so the schedule is set, along with 2 backup sitters if needed. I've been making sure there are plenty of Colby's supplies here. Also working on cleaning all his tubing, filters, masks, etc. I tried to squeeze back in here after 4 days, but the dr. office said no way, it has to be the complete 5 days since Colby requires so much care/attention. Dammit! I guess "6 feet of distance means 6 feet" and "5 days away means 5 days away". I know the people taking care of him will do a great job. They always do. But let's face it, nobody takes care of you like your mama. I'm trying to keep my mind off of it, but as you can tell, not doing a very good job.
Colby's equipment has been a bit of a thorn in my side lately. His old pulse/ox machine just up and quit one day. No warning, just poof, turned it on and it didn't work. The DME company we use brought another one out the same day. Fantastic, right? Wrong. It's a total piece of crap. We've had Nellcor machines for years and this time they brought us a Masimo. I called them and said please come pick up this piece of crap machine and bring us a Nellcor. No can do. They don't have a contract with Nellcor any more and don't carry those machines. The probes for the Masimo are also complete crap. I've already had to buy extra probes out of pocket. I don't mind paying for the things Colby needs, but I never had to order extra Nellcor probes. I decided to break down and buy a Nellcor pulse/ox out of pocket, so I'm on the hunt for one. Buying a pulse/ox is not as easy as you think. They don't exactly carry them down the street at K-Mart. Also had to buy a carrying case for his portable pulse/ox. He's needing a new bi-pap mask since the one he has is leaving a mark under his nose. I have him an appointment for a mask fitting in a couple of weeks. That's the earliest I'll be able to take him out there. The appointment in Cincy for the lesion/cyst on his rib is in a couple weeks and yeah, that's stressing me out a bit, too. Just something new to worry about.
Then there's Mr. Colby himself. Something is going on with him, but I just can't pinpoint it. Again, I'm sticking with allergies, final answer Regis. He has no fever. His lungs sound clear. His secretions are clear, not yellow and/or green. However, he's having a horrible time sitting up without his bi-pap on. And today his heart rate is off the charts high, doesn't matter if he's sitting up or lying down. Makes me want to run around the room, screaming and pulling my hair out, crying hysterically. Doubt if that fixes the problem though. This is the last thing we need going on before I leave for several days. He's not sick enough to hop in the Terdmobile and go to Cincy. I'm not dragging him through a hospital unless absolutely necessary. He's not extra whiney. He hasn't been sleeping more. I changed his allergy medication a few days ago, just to see if that would help. Went from Allegra to Claritin (loratidine). It hasn't helped so far. Still sending him to school, but like I said, he's having to spend most of the day on his bi-pap while there. I was watching him do his eye gaze earlier today. It cracks me up, I love to watch those eyes of his dance around, make choices. Today he was all over the place. Nothing he said made sense (yeah I know, the apple doesn't fall…haha). He was choosing words like done, until, should. He threw in a few crazy hellos, too, which is always comedy relief. I don't really care what he says, as long as he gives it some effort, which he is doing.
I'm on this special low thyroid diet to prepare for my treatment. I thought it would be the most horrid thing ever, but it hasn't been that bad. The good thing is I've been able to drop a few pounds without having to exercise much, so goodie yay for that. No dairy. No egg yolks. No iodized salt. So basically I've stayed away from anything processed or packaged. If I don't know what kind of salt is in it, I don't have it. Eating lots of fruit, dried fruit, spinach salad with homemade vinaigrette. Lots of no salt organic peanut butter, which is like going from regular soft drinks to diet. Once you get used to it, it's not terrible. But I sure do miss my cheese! That'll be the first thing on my plate once the diet is over, followed by ice cream. Booze is on the "can have" list, thank goodness!
Well, that sums up how it's going around here. Told you it wasn't exactly peachy keen. I know there are many good things in our life, too, but lately I seem to be too overwhelmed to appreciate them. I want to put this whole stupid thyroid business behind me. I want Colby's appointment about his cyst to be over. I want to get my taxes done and get back to redecorating the apartment. Enough of all this scheduling, dr. appts for me and problems with equipment. I have been working on getting the Spongebob border out of my room, 3 walls down, 1 to go. Colby and I were invited to a Super Bowl party today, but honestly, I didn't feel like going. I just want to spend some QT with my boy while I can this week. I need to keep a close eye on his heart rate anyways. So I'll wrap this up for now. I need to feed and change Colby, fold the laundry and get ready to watch the Super Bowl. I don't care who wins, as long as it's not the Patriots.
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