CAN YOU SAY, EMOTIONAL ROLLER COASTER?

It would seem I'm a bit of a basket case lately. That's to be expected I guess? I hear good news, I cry. I hear bad news, of course I cry. I'm at my happiest when I'm out with friends, just getting away and escaping it all for a while. No that's not right, I'm at my happiest when it's just Colby and me, and me and Colby, cuddled up on the couch, chilling out. My sleeping (or I should say lack thereof) is all messed up. How in the world can you be physically and emotionally drained by the end of the day and the NOT be able to sleep? Makes no freakin' sense. I think about Colby's upcoming surgeries and going back to Cincy, I cry. I make a roast and gravy and cry because it's simply the best darn thing I've made and eaten in weeks. See? I'm a fruitcake. I think a lot of it is realizing this being home gig is extremely temporary. In 12 days we'll be back at Cincinnati Children's. And while I'm thankful this wonderful, fabulous, hospital exists and is only 2 hours away and Colby is lucky enough to be seen by some of the best doctors in the country (that's no exaggeration) I DON'T want to go. I DON'T want Colby to have to undergo surgery. I DON'T want to learn trach care. I DON'T want to spend 5 to 6 weeks away from home. I'm just going to have to realize it's just too damn bad what I want and don't want. It is what it is, it's gonna be what it's gonna be. Apparently I'm famous (probably infamous) for saying, "just suck it up and do it". So now it's time to listen to my own advice. Time to pull out those big girl panties again. Like the joke says, just hope the elastic in them doesn't break soon. Then I'd have to really show my ass, haha.

And speaking of showing one's ass, I pretty much did it today. However, it was justified. There is a certain piece-of-crap home health company we've had many, many issues with over the years. Today was no different. Colby's new hospital bed was being delivered today. Exciting! At 10:00 this morning. So the crap company was supposed to come pick up the old bed between 9:00 and 9:30. So I got up early, got ready, busted my butt to get Colby up early, got him moved out to the couch and guess what? Yep, piece-of-crap company didn't show. Now, the wonderful, professional, very nice men from National Seating and Mobility were here promptly at 10:00 to assemble the new hospital bed. They could've been total terds and said hey, we can't do our job since this other bed is still in here. But they didn't, thank goodness, or I honestly think I would've had a meltdown. They took the old bed apart and put Colby's new bed together while I was on the phone ripping piece-of-crap company some new butt holes. Again, I can't stress enough how important it is to keep notes. I had the date, time and person I talked to who was supposed to get someone here on time to get the old bed out of here. So I have hospital bed parts lying around in the hallway, kitchen, etc. Piece-of-crap company calls and says they'll have someone here between 4:30 and 7:30 to pick it up. Oh hell no! It took every ounce of restraint I had not to go Henryville on those morons, and I did a pretty good job. Needless to say the old hospital bed was out of here by 12:15 (smiley face). I don't know who they think they're messing with. Didn't they get the memo, I'm Super Mama. There will be no F-ing with me anymore. About anything. Just do as you promised you would. Get my sweet boy the supplies and equipment he needs, when he needs them, and everything will be ducky. If not, you'll have to deal with me and my excellent not taking. I am, however, in the market for a new home health care company. I've had another local company recommended to me by several people, think I'll give them a ringy-dingy when I get some time.

But let me just say the new fancy-schmancy hospital bed is awesome! It's 10x better than the one Colby had. Nice, comfy mattress. All electric. Even has an IV pole that can be used for his feeding, so no need for a separate feeding pole now. Woot woot. I put Colby in his new bed and was showing him all the buttons. Whole bed up and down, head only up and down, feet only up and down. He's proud as a peacock in that new bed. So I guess all the bullcrap was worth it.

Colby is doing great. See pic, doesn't he look FABULOUS?! As my friend Kim said, it's as if Colby is saying, "Look Mama, no tubes!!" He's able to spend more and more time off his bi-pap through the day. He hasn't taken a nap in over a week, which is totally his normal self. He's the most no sleep during the day kid I've ever known. Even as a baby, no naps for that crazy kid. Guess he thought he would miss something if he dozed off. His heart rate gets a little high when he sits up after 20 minutes or so. That's a little discouraging. Not sure if he just needs more time or if it's because of those compressed airways on his right lung. But as soon as you put on his bi-pap he's fine. Actually I think Colby has needed some alone time, too. Sometimes he's more than content to just hang and watch SB.

Not much else going on. Saturday was Derby. Colby and I stayed home. I had gone out the night before and met up with some friends to watch a local band. I left at 9:30 and was home by 12:30. What a party animal I am! Colby picked the Derby winner and I'm so freakin' mad, didn't make a bet. I named off all the horses to Colby. He made noises at Take Charge Indy and I'll Take Another. We went through them all again, same thing, but I thought he was making more noise towards T C Indy. So for Colby I bet an exacta box for the 2 horses, then bet T C Indy, NOT I'll Take Another, to win. Dangit, why didn't I just go ahead and put another few bucks on that one to win?! Because I'm a dorkasauras, that's why. I chose Gemologist to win. I think that horse is still running, isn't it? Was able to go to Mass on Sunday. Very nice to get back to the Cathedral and see my friends there. Went out to dinner with some girlie friends last night. Nothing like some girlie time to make things a little (okay, a lot) better. Been working on redecorating my bedroom. I'd say I'm about 80% done in there. I'm rearranged my furniture 3 times and put on 2 different comforter sets. Hey, it's a woman's prerogative to change her mind when it comes to decorating. Colby's bedroom will be next. That will have to wait until we're home from the next lovely hospital stay. Been reading the 2nd book of The Hunger Games series. Loving it! As a matter of fact, I'm going to wrap up this update and go read a bit. Then off to Sleepy Land, or at least I hope so.