This week has been good at times, so-so at times, and downright stinky at times. Good in that Colby is doing well at school. No major oxygen drops or emergency trach changes this week. Always thankful for the "uneventful" days. I worked yesterday at the hospital and didn't break anything. That's always a plus. Actually got a lot of work done. Stinky because I think the washer is dying a sad, slow, miserable death. Did a load of laundry Monday and it did the same thing again, won't spin out and has a funny smell. That's not good. So I'm going to have dad look at it or take it somewhere to get looked at one more time. Praying it's fixable, even if it can buy us a couple more months. Need to use benefit money to pay for the shelving unit and soon get a van. Speaking of the shelving unit, everyone who has seen it loves it. I was pleasantly surprised when I got the invoice. The sales dude called the material company and got me a discount on the materials (explained the whole single mom, special needs child thing to them.) Then he gave me another discount because of all the hassle the install dude caused the day/night of putting up the shelving. How awesome is it when you get a bill and it's LESS than you originally thought? That never happens! Just can't bring myself to start looking at vans yet. It seems I might have a sentimental attachment to the Terdmobile, go figure. We've hauled Colby a lot of miles and a lot of places in that vehicle. The hassle of van shopping and thought of how much a van is going to cost practically makes me hurl. TDB, huh? Time to move on. Just suck it up and do it I keep telling myself.
After much research, many phone calls, and all around banging my head against the wall, it would seem we're forced to go back to the nursing agency we were using before Colby got his trach. Long story short, this agency takes the program that will provide Colby's supplies and services, so we're stuck with them. Made the call for that today and am waiting for them to call back and schedule a re-cert, or new admission, or whatever the crap it is we have to do to get this process started. Oh joy. Can hardly wait. Good grief, just shoot me now. I hear they "cleaned house" and have all new office staff now, so that's good to hear. Also, the 4 nurses that Colby has through the current agency are also signed on with this other agency, too. I made it perfectly clear to the intake person today that we love our nurses and schedule and don't want them bothered and/or changed. We'll see. Please God, let this be an easy transition, please, please. I honestly don't think I can take another clusterfuck mess, especially when it comes to Colby's nursing care.
I was thinking today, when it comes to "working" I've just about done it all. I've done the full-time job, aka career, with benefits, vacations, etc. I've worked a kabillion part-time jobs on the side, bartending, waitressing, dispatching, whatever came along to make some extra cash. I worked from home doing medical transcribing to accommodate Colby's schedule for over 5 years. I've been a stay-at-home mom, both while married with 2 stepkids and of course now being single. I think it's fair to say I have lots of work/career experience. Let me tell you something, being a stay-at-home mom is hard work! Anyone who doesn't do it and tells you it isn't hard is deadass wrong, and anyone who does it and tells you it isn't hard isn't doing it correctly. Just sayin'. But please know I'm not complaining. I made the decision when Colby was diagnosed, a loooong 10 years ago, that I would stay home and give him the care he needed. Working to make money was no longer the priority, giving Colby the best quality of life possible was, and still is, the main priority in my life. I don't regret that decision, not for one millisecond. And I can promise you I spend just as much time, and put just as much if not more, effort into being a stay-at-home mom as I would for an employer. I'm up early almost every morning trying to get stuff done before Colby wakes up, because once he's up for the day, it's all about him and his needs. I'm up after he goes to sleep trying to get more stuff done. While he's at school I'm making phone calls, running errands, cleaning, organizing, occasionally working at the hospital, etc. I assure you I do not spend my time brunching with the gals, plopping my butt on the couch and watching TV, or shopping for new shoes. And I absolutely love it. Love, love, love being Colby's super mama, advocate, go-to person and sidekick. Me and him, we go together like peas and carrots! How blessed am I that most days I can watch Colby get on the school bus and be here when he gets off the bus in the afternoon? I'm thankful I have the opportunity to do so, very thankful. So yes, I "work". I work to the best of my ability every day of my life to provide for my sweet boy in the ways I can. Trust me, the benefits of having Colby in my life far outweigh the nice big paychecks I no longer earn. I get paid in jabbers, funny eye gaze comments and sweet snuggles, and it doesn't get any better than that.
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